Woman's Boyfriend Demands That She Give Her Pets Away Before Moving In Together, Leading Her to Finally See His Red Flags

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 28, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Welcome, tea lovers across the WWW. Pet owners know that they didn't literally give birth to their precious pupper, darling meow meow, or ferocious fire-breathing gecko, but taking care of another creature, investing in its health, and nurturing a bond of trust with it can bring forth even the most deeply-buried of maternal instincts. For many, pets are important and valued family members, and much like you wouldn't ask your lover to just put his kids up for adoption just because you're not great with children, you shouldn't ask a pet owner to just give their pets away. 

In our story today, a boyfriend tests the waters of the pet-free life by trying to convince his girlfriend to give her lizards away before moving in together. She takes care of a variety of animals, but he argues that lizards in particular wouldn't care either way, not realizing that it was his girlfriend's feelings that he should have been concerned about. Read below to find out what became of their relationship.

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  • 01
    TWO TAKE r/TwoHotTakes u/d00dleboi 17h My (27F) boyfriend (27M) asked me to give away my pets in order to move in with him. Am I overreacting by thinking of breaking up with him over this?
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 02
    My bf "John" and I have been together for about 2ish years, and have known each other for 3 years total. The entire time we have known each other, I have lived alone in my one bedroom apartment that I pay the rent and bills for completely on my own. He is a recovering addict (got sober in 2020) and has been living in a sober living house and then with his good friend during our relationship.
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 03
    To say our relationship had been tumultuous is an understatement. I could probably write a 10 page essay explaining the nuances and details of our relationship. The things we have struggled with mainly revolve around how different we are from each other religiously (I'm agnostic he is a Christian), politically (I am sort of apolitical and he is. conservative), he is sober and I am not, etc etc. This causes a lot of fights and arguments, but when we are not fighting, we get along great. He makes
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 04
    Recently John has been talking about buying a house, and I desperately want out of my apartment. I could not afford to buy a house completely on my own so we agreed we would be moving in together, like we have been discussing for a while before he got serious about buying a home.
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 05
    Now here comes the biggest issue for me. - Backstory I have 2 cats, a bearded dragon, and a leopard gecko that I love very much. I have had all of them for at least 4 years now. Last night we were discussing moving in together and he said "well you know you will have to get rid of your lizards, right?"
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 06
    I looked at him like he was crazy. He said "they are reptiles, they don't form a connection to humans, they won't even know you gave them away" or something to that effect. I couldn't believe it. I told him absolutely not, i don't care if they are reptiles or not, I would never give them away, they are my responsibility and I would never trust someone else with them. He explained further that "if I'm going to be buying the house then I don't want a bunch of extra stuff in there," he also said th
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 07
    I explained to him today that he hurt me by even suggesting that, and he backed off a little saying maybe he was in the wrong. I'm not sure. I have been struggling with this relationship for a long time and this is feeling like a breaking point. even if he went back and said I could bring all my pets, I know that it would cause issues in the future.
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 08
    Am I overreacting? Or am I in the right that his request was ridiculous? I feel that if he really knew me, he would know that even suggesting giving my pets away would never be an option. Forgot to mention earlier I would be splitting the monthly payment for the house with him, he would not be paying for everything while I live there for free.
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 09
    Please be honest with me as I don't really have any friends to talk with about stuff like this and I really need some outside perspectives. TL;DR - My bf told me I would have to give up two of my pets to move in with him. I told him absolutely not. It hurt me to the point I am thinking of ending it. Am I overreacting to the situation?
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 10
    *Just one edit I wanted to add - I am not and would never consider giving up my pets for anyone. I am more asking for advice of what to do next, not if I should give them up or not. I told him I would never consider that. I am not a s y pet owner! **2nd update - we broke up. He just called me over facetime and ended it. I'm in shock ✪ 1,417 ♡ 619 D
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 11
    RNH213PDX • 16h "I have been struggling with this relationship for a long time and this is feeling like a breaking point." THIS IS NOT WHEN YOU MOVE IN WITH SOMEONE!!! If you are not sure of a relationship, further entangling yourself financially, emotionally, lizardlessly, is, I am sorry... NOT BRIGHT.
    via u/RNH213PDX
  • 12
    Work on yourself. Love the animals that you have made a commitment to take care of (not a reptile person, but they are sentient beings and I have know a lot of Lizard Lovers who feel mutual bonds with their scaly friends.) If you are ever decided whether to move in with someone or break up with them the relationship has already reached terminal status. All we are now dithering over is just how big a mess you are going to make that you are going to have to crawl (or slither!) out of. - Reply 21.5
    via u/RNH213PDX
  • 13
    Fun_in_Space • 16h You could write a 10-page essay on the conflicts with him and you are considering buying a house with him? Are you nuts? ← Reply 257
    via u/Fun_in_Space
  • 14
    d00dleboi OP. 16h Well when you put it that way... maybe I am oops ← 91
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 15
    Fredredphooey • 16h Why wouldn't you ask "Is my boyfriend overreacting to my pets who he doesn't have to take care of?" He considers them "extra stuff" in HIS house. That's unacceptable. You're allowed to break up with anyone for any reason without their permission. I'm concerned that you would come home one day to find out that your lizards "escaped." Find a roommate situation instead of staying with this guy. Reply Ŵ 873 ♡
    via u/Fredredphooey
  • 16
    doodleboi OP • 16h Honestly, I thought the same thing, coming home to them "escaped". I do not want to believe that would be possible but just the fact he mentioned me giving them up makes you think what else a person is capable of... ← 391
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 17
    Tulip_Tree_trapeze • 15h You cannot trust this man. You listed off a buttload a red flags before even getting to the point where he wants you to get rid of your animals. I don't think you two are compatible in the long run. It's not worth your animals safety. 224
    via u/Tulip_Tree_trapeze
  • 18
    Innuendo64_ • 17h Giving up your pets that you deeply love to continue a relationship that's on the rocks? I think you already know the answer ← Reply 326
    via u/Innuendo64_
  • 19
    21stCenturyJanes • 15h I hope OP goes back and reads her own post with some objectivity and realizes how much she should not buy a house with this man. 37 д
    via u/21stCenturyJanes
  • 20
    tom1944 16h Once he knows he can convince you to abandon the lizards the cats are next to go ... Reply 1108
    via u/tom1944
  • 21
    d00dleboi OP. 16h That is exactly what I told him, he said he would never expect me to do that, but the fact he was so causal about the lizards is really concerning to me ← 51
    via u/d00dleboi
  • 22
    unlovelyladybartleby • 15h Let me rephrase this: "my troubled boyfriend and I are not a good match ideologically and now he wants me to renege on the lifetime commitment I've made to my pets so I can have the dubious pleasure of fighting with him all the time instead of just on date night." Seriously? Reply Ŵ 71 ♡
    via u/unlovelyladybartleby
  • 23
    d00dleboi OP. 16h I really appreciate all the comments on this post so quickly... wasn't really expecting that! I think everyone here confirmed my deepest thoughts that I really just did not want to face. Reading back on it, it really does seem obvious like a lot of you have said... Thank you all for taking the time to offer your thoughts. Reply 98 ↓
    via u/d00dleboi

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boyfriend drama pets Female Empowerment reddit story relationships girlfriend couples love entitled lizard breakup reddit thread red flag Reddit Cats toxic relationship dating
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